I was talking to a parent recently and said to the parent, “Who is in charge, you or the child?” The parent quickly answered, “My child.” It made me think about the large number of homes in which this is true. When children are in charge of their homes, they come to school thinking they can be in charge there too.
I am launching a new survey this week to see what you think? Do you think that children are in charge of their homes or that their parents are? I am curious what you think. Go to www.atiseminars.org to make your voice heard.
Regardless of who is in charge at home, it is important that you are in charge of your classroom. Children need adults to have wisdom, to set boundaries, to give them freedom within limits. The limits help them to feel more secure, and they learn to thrive in those limits. They need to be able to make choices, to have their own voices heard, but all within the loving framework of teachers who are in charge of their classrooms. If every child could do everything they wanted whenever they wanted, it would be chaos. There are many homes today that have that chaos. It’s a good thing that children have you to help them learn how to live in the real world with its limits and boundaries and to learn how to make positive choices within those limits.
Have a great day.
Maryln
Thursday, January 29, 2009
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2 comments:
There seems to be fewer non-negotiables within homes these days. Everything is up for discussion or voting. Why not make the major decisions in a home while allowing the kids to vote on smaller issues that all lead to the major decision? I will tell you why I believe this does not happen. Time and effort. This is such a fast paced society that people do not invest the time it takes to form and implement the major decisions. It is draining to argue with your kids over decisions that need to be made. Therefore, we just give in.
What we need to realize is that the power is in the set up. Whether you are about to embark on parenthood or a teaching career, let me tell you the greatest investment you will ever make actually comes BEFORE they get here. As a teacher and parent, I put my non-negotiables in place and take the first big chunk of time I have with the children implementing and enforcing while loving and nurturing. I give choices that impower them while never giving into those basic values, goals and rules that have been set. Is it hard at first? You bet! But after the initial battles are won and limits are set, we can all look forward and running together to the goal line!
Within my child care setting, I really only see one family that seems to be allowing the child to be in charge. I have recently heard that the home is not clean at all and things are everywhere. How I came about this information does not matter, except that it is reliable and explains so much. Another family is learning to pull back the reigns on the oldest as she must get more ready for school this fall and has to learn that her decissions affect more than just her. They are coming along. It is hard work for parents to take the time to set limits and enforce them. The payoff is wonderful though. Dropping parenting hints about picking your battles, how to stay in charge, and when is it okay to give a child the choice over something, is something I have been doing for many years. My clients have told me over and over again how much they appreciate this information. We must be proactive, not always complaing and negative about what we see and hear. Our positive approach really does go a long ways.
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