Yesterday was a very special day. One year ago on November 1st, my daughter Tobi passed away. I think one of the hardest things I have ever done was to order a grave marker for my daughter. The marker has her name, some sweet words of love, and it has the date she was born, then a dash, and the date of her passing from this world.
Yes, that first date, the day of her birth was very important—the day I got to hold my tiny baby in my arms for the first time. And yes, the date she passed away is important. That was the date of her last living breath. But it’s in the dash that the memories are made. The dash holds all the special memories of her life. That “dash” has her trip home from the hospital, her first words, her first smile, the first little tiny bow in her hair, her first best friend, her first date, her first loves, and then her final love. It holds also, her special moments when she gave birth to each of my grandchildren, the joy and pride and love in her voice, birthday parties for her children, her battles with illness, her saying, “I hope I live until my children are eighteen.” That dash holds the memory of the last time I saw her alive, our last big hug that day, and every phone conversation from that week. Her life is all in the “dash.” That’s where hopes and dreams come true, where love flourishes, where there is laughter and tears.
So today I am writing for you to create your own special memories in the “dash” with all those you love, and with the children you teach. Every moment of life is part of the “dash” so live it to the fullest.
Have a great day.
Maryln
Monday, November 2, 2009
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8 comments:
My sympathy is with you. I too lost a daughter and two grandchildren on November 3, 1997, it will be twelve years tomorrow. I too cherish to dash. God bless you!
That first anniversary of a loved one's death brings back memories of exactly what you were doing that day when he/she passed away. But you are right that the memories in "the dash" are the best memories of all. I'm glad you have good memories of Tori and her life. Cherish them.
You and your family are in my prayers. I can't imagine the feeling of losing a child, no matter how old they are.
My mother passed away around a year and a half ago. I went to the NACCP conference not long after her passing. You and Marty were presenting and I attended your session. I remember this due to your introduction of one another. Your introductions brought memories of my own mother to the surface. It brought me to tears, but it also got me thinking about the dash! It is so easy to think about the dates and forget the dash.
My prayer is to live my life as an educator, administrator, parent, wife, and friend, in a way that others will look back at my dash often and smile!
Your dash is getting filled with so much! You have touched many lives! Thanks for filling that dash and in doing so proving so much for so many!
Maryln,
Thank you for this incredible word this morning. I have three beautiful daughters and the Memories created in the "dash" have been the most precious in my life.
Paula
Thanks for sharing. I was at the seminar this weekend with your son, right in the front row, and it was very difficult hearing him speak of his sister, and I was proud of him to be working on such an emotional day. All the best. xoxo
Yesterday I too took the day to remember the dash in my daughter's life. Casey died at the age of 9 in 1995. Although it has been a difficult 14 years I cherish everything that we had and do feel we lived our life together to the fullest. We held a Dia de los Muertos party in our home yesterday. The Day of the Dead is a Mexican tradition that you take the 2 days to honor the dead and acknowledge that they are still part of your life, although they are not physically with you. We invited friends and neighbors and built an altar to honor everyone's loved ones who had passed on. What a beautiful and memorable day.
I am filled with such emotion after reading your thought for today about your daughter. I was crying trying to finish it. I have two daughters and one son. They are 26, 23 and 18. I have not experienced weddings, or grandbabies yet. I hope I will be blessed as you were but I am saddened that you no longer have your daughter. I am compelled to ask what took her awawy from you if it is not too personal. My friend, Jen Miller got me hooked on reading your e-mails each day. They really give you the "kick" I need to get my thoughts in the right palce. This is my 33rd year to teach. Thirty of those were in public school. I have been blessed to be able to retire and teach in a private school.
I lost my father 25 years ago on November 1st to lung cancer. He was 42 years old. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year and a half ago at the age of 43. I am doing well and believe my father has been keeping us all safe and protected since his passing. Each year becomes a little easier as you adjust to a life without the loved one, but your memories will keep them alive forever.
Blessings to you and your family as you continue this difficult journey of adjustment.
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