Friday, the 13th ushers in Valentine’s Week-end

When I was an adolescent, I remember walking to school one day and a black cat crossed my path. I thought, “OH NO! I will have bad luck.” Instead, almost right away, I found a dollar bill. In those days, finding a dollar bill was the equivalent of finding $20.00 today!!! The rest of the day was a great day filled with good things.

Today is the start of what I hope is a wonderful week-end for you. It’s Valentine’s Day week-end—a time to give cards and little gifts and show all those in your life how much you care. Now, that is special!!!

As you celebrate Valentine’s Day this week-end, I hope that you receive lots of love from all those in your life. You deserve it. I want to be one of the first to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow, and to tell you that your caring for children touches my heart. You are a difference maker. There are many lives that have already changed and will continue to change for the better because of what you do and who you are. Have an awesome day today and Happy Valentine’s Day from me and my son Marty Appelbaum, and the entire Appelbaum team.

Maryln

Walk the balance beam.

There is a balance beam that every teacher and every parent needs to walk with children. That is the balance beam of love and limits. All children need both love and limits. There are some adults who think loving children means giving them everything they want. That makes the balance beam topple away from all limits. Love is much tougher than that. It takes courage to say “no” to a child you love. It takes courage to set boundaries and follow through. Loving children is helping them to be the best they can be—preparing them for the real adult world. It’s a feeling of the heart, a feeling that makes it all worth it—the long hours and all the work that you do. .

Limits are part of the structure that children need. They need to know the rules. If there are so many rules that it is impossible to remember them all, the balance beam topples to the side of limits. The limits need to provide structure while also allowing children to express themselves, to grow into their full potential.

Today and always as you care for children, stay in the middle of the balance beam and make sure it doesn’t topple to either side. You are a difference maker.

Have a great day.

Maryln

Stay cool as a cucumber!

A key ingredient to success with children, especially in classroom management, is to stay calm. Children get their “cues” from you. When they see that you are flustered and upset, they “catch” your mood. When a child is angry or disrespectful, stay calm. Take a few deep breaths and say to yourself, “I can handle this.” Then speak calmly to the child. “I need you to…” and tell the child what you need the child to do. Just picture that cool green cucumber. It is unflappable. It is solid. And so too can you be unflappable, calm, and “cool as a cucumber.”

Have a great day. You are a difference maker.

Maryln

Have a "Welcome Box"

When children come into your classroom, have a “Welcome Box.” Children reach into the box and pull out their message for the day. Older students can have messages like, “You’re going to have a great day,” “Glad you are here today.” “I believe in you.” Younger children that cannot read can still reach in a Welcome Box and pull out an illustration, like a Smiley Face, or a photo of a class friend. It starts the day on a positive note and helps children want to come into your room for the surprise that they will get. It’s like opening a Chinese fortune cookie. Be creative in the messages you put in your Welcome Box.

Have a great day.

Maryln

PS - Your comments are welcomed.

Teaching new behaviors as an alternative to consequences that do not work

There are some children who never learn from consequences. When speaking, I often ask teachers about this, and they always respond that their students engage in the same negative behaviors over and over again regardless of consequences. While there are some situations in which I believe a natural consequence is appropriate (A child spills paints and then cleans it up); there are other times, it is more appropriate to teach new positive behaviors instead of a consequence. For example, Kyle tapped his pencil loudly on a desk. When he learned to tap his pencil on a computer mouse pad, the noise ended. Melissa could not sit still. When she learned that she could sway in her seat, she stopped getting out of her seat.

Always consider the child and the situation, and look for appropriate positive strategies that fit the child and the situation.

Have a wonderful day and a wonderful week. You are a difference maker.

Maryln

PS - Feel free to post your comments.